Spreadsheets Are For Winners
I have a chub for spreadsheets these days.
God knows why. I’ve never been very organized. I have a sign above my desk that reads PROCRASTINATE NOW. My procrastinative tendencies engage in 3rd degree black belt level jiu-jitsu matches with my desire to, quite simply, GET MORE SHIT DONE.
So here we are.
I have a lot going on this year. You could say I’m making up for 2016, which was far less than stellar for a number of reasons I won’t go into right now. There’s DISPATCH, my monthly Patreon litcom about a 9-1-1 emergency dispatch agency on the brink of collapse after a series of mishandled calls. There are weekly heavy metal album reviews for Ghost Cult Mag. There are novels and novellas, and old stories published on Wattpad, and new stories written in the fire of the moment with no consideration or concern as to where they will end up.
I just couldn’t keep track of it all.
Hence the spreadsheet.
At my day gig (yes, I have one of those, as discussed in my last post about diversification and branding), we sell lots of stuff. Lots of very, very expensive stuff. And we live off of spreadsheets. Because when you sell lots of very expensive stuffs, you naturally need to keep all that shit in order. You have to know what you sold. What isn’t selling. What has the potential to sell. Who is buying. Who is not buying. Why aren’t they buying? FOR GOOD GODDAMN SKYWALKER’S SAKE, WHY AREN’T THEY BUYING?!
Ahem. Sorry. Off my meds today.
So. Yes. I brought my work home with me, in a sense. I’ve taken that day gig reliance upon spreadsheets and carried it home in the brown paper bag I use to steal the toilet paper from the restrooms.
What? No. Forget that last part.
But, seriously now, I’ve found spreadsheets to be a legit godsend for a disorganized procrastinator like myself.
When there are too many irons in the fire, you lose sight of the irons and burn up in the fire.
So here’s a glimpse of my personal editorial calendar—in media res—until the end of May, 2017. My chore list, if you will. It keeps me motivated, it keeps me on track. Perhaps it will help inspire you to make your own. Perhaps it won’t. Maybe you’ll look at this and say aloud in a bold, Game-of-Thronesy voice, “Shame, Korolenko. I’ve been making spreadsheets since before Al Gore invented the internet.” Or maybe you’ll be so disgusted with these embarrassingly basic and infantile attempts at organization that you’ll poop in your hand and throw it at the computer screen in disgust.
Whatever you do, do it quickly. Then get the fuck back to work.